I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
