I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
