Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
