hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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