fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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