Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
