Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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