He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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