im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
