it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
