i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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