i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
