On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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