grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
