So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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