you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
