ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize