i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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