I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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