Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize