I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
