Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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