Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize