It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
