Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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