mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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