Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
