I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
