Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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