Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Someone signed my nipple.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
