I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
