I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize