Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
