I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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