they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
