I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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