his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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