nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
