This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
