The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So squirting runs in the family.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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