Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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