One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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