What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
