i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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