the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize