YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
