I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
