Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
