Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize