My nipple is on Facebook.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Randomize
