Umm I'm too high to move.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
