I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
