To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
