Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
