When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
