if i died would you start the facebook group?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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