party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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