she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
