3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
