YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
