there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize