I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She tied me up with her honor cords...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The feeling are messing with the penis
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