Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
