Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
